It's my firm belief that anything except abuse can be worked out. But that requires 100% effort from both of you. If you are telling him what you need out of this relationship and he's not willing to try to give you those things then it's really out of your hands.

It's been my experience that when something cataclysmic happens (cancer, death in the family etc) we take stock in our life and determine what the truly important things in life are and cling to those things and overlook those small irritating things that would otherwise make us crazy... at least for a while. Once the crisis is being managed reality sets in once again, but hopefully you take the lesson of what's important to you with you.

Some people have a great deal of trouble showing affection. He's been through a lot has he concidered therapy to work on his issues?