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MickG · Dec 01, 2009, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fool Zero

Hi Mick, this may be a bit off topic but (speaking of voices) I was wondering if you'd come across an article that spiritual_emergency reposted a few months ago: Schizophrenia and Psychosis > I talk back to the voices in my head... (6/19/09)

Fool Zero thanks so much for the link. I did read the article and visited the Rufus May site and watched a video there as well. His work is very interesting. I do engage the voices regularly and I fear I may have driven them a bit mad. Engaging them has worked for me though I suppose my discomfort comes more from having others watch me while talking to them.

The voices are calmer these days but I also believe I can speak with loved ones who passed so in addition to engaging the voices being helpful I also believe my loved ones may be providing a bit of interference to assist me with those things that are not so nice.

I believe you fell across my online meanderings a few years back before the whitecoats came and took me away for a bit. Anyway, I had a sort of persona I wore for the public back then. That persona is who talks to the voices and I have a running banter with some of them. Much like a shaman puts on a mask for certain work I automatically put on this persona to journey to the space where I engage the noise of the world. I am uncomfortable with the doc seeing me like this but I suppose as there are shaman who do not do their “magic” in sight of other people but only go through the motions for public events, I could keep a bit of a distance between the voices and my doctor by engaging them in my head and relaying the exchange to him. This way I wouldn’t have to become that persona in front of him. I would sort of split into two people, the one who talks to the voices in my head and the person relaying the information.

I am still trying to find my place in therapy and am not certain what I want my doctor to help me with. Medications have not helped and I believe I will always hear voices and I sometimes think because I am managing perhaps his skills are best put to use helping someone else. This sort of life is a heavy one though and perhaps the best part of therapy is in knowing that I am heard.

Thanks again.