I am so glad to hear that you quit the therapists who weren't working out for you and that you found one who did.

I have quit quite a few -- but in a couple of cases, I quit long after I should, and am still dealing with the aftereffects many years later. Those two were in some ways like your second therapist, saying dire things.

For example one said, "I can't help you if you take everything I say as criticism." Regrettably, I reacted by feeling guilty and ashamed of "taking everything she said as criticism". It wasn't until four years later that I remembered/realized that I hadn't taken everything she said as criticism -- but that I found much of what she said just plain shocking and/or inappropriate. One example: When I said I was somewhat shy, she said, "You gave up your power."

The second said (when I finally said I was going to quit seeing her), "You'll never get better if you keep seeking the perfect therapist". By that time I had started reading about cognitive therapy and recognized these comments as examples of what the cognitive therapists consider distorted thoughts. Your second therapist's comments also fit into their category of distorted thoughts.

If you care to know more about my experiences, please see my posts in the threads "Older Clients" and "Problems and Progress in Therapy"

My advice for a future therapist: Please remember that everyone is different; one size does not fit all.

Also, in previous posts in the threads mentioned above, I've mentioned books on therapy that I recommend; they can help you see the variety in clients and their needs.

Thanks very much for starting this thread.