[QUOTE=Tayra;1228069]Hi kindergirl,
Thanks for replying; I appreciate it.
I'm very frustrated because I have had about 9 years of therapy!! I uncovered a whole lot of memories of the childhood abuse, but my therapist just didn't know that I have DID. She knew I had dissociation, but at the time I had been in denial of the alters I'd created as a child and the lost time. It wasn't the therapists fault, I think, that she didn't know because I guess I was too much in denial of it for it to show? Although the therapist knew about the ritual and cult stuff so I'm now thinking maybe she should have suspected DID?

Ok here's my frustration; I'd thought I'd come so far in therapy; I thought I'd uncovered about 80% of what I'd gone through, but now I realize I do have alters and parts and they've probably only shared, in form of memories, and not so much feelings, only about 40 or 50% if I'm lucky!!

So now I realize I need therapy for DID, BUT I am not so trusting because of the cult stuff and so it's really going to be hard to find someone who i can trust, number one, and number two I'm super strapped for money and don't have health insurance so I may not be able to afford therapy.

On the positive side though, I'm very good at the self-help stuff cause I majored in psychology and even have lots of grad school psychology.

I'd prefer a therapist, but don't think I can afford or trust one. Some of them are not sincere.

Tayra



maybe the therapist did know, but because you were in denial she didn't bring it up. all the therapists that I have seen knew what I had but did not approach me with a specific diagnosis until I was ready to discuss even the possibility of having DID. They told me not to worry about "what" I had just take care of the problems that I was having flashbacks panic attacks overwhelming sadness, moodiness, losing track of time, having a poor memory associated with abuse and certain times of the year. years later when I received copies of my therapy files it was noted time and again things like "Amandalouise has MPD but at this time it would do no good to bring up the subject due to her denial and and fear of being considered "crazy" I am also unsure of the full extent without proper testing which cannot be done at this time due to her extreme denial and fear would only interfere with the testing results."

don't worry about whether or not you have DID and whether or not they should have caught it in the past. just work on your problem areas you have now and someday when you are ready there are tests that a psychiatrist can do with you to determine what your mental disorders are called.