Googley, though I accept you feel like a failure, I cannot picture you as one. Your dogged strivings reflect merit on you regardless of how you feel.
Thank you for your support. Sometimes it seems like no matter how hard I try it wont work out. I need to be reminded that it will all work out in the end.

I don't remember clearly, but you may have mentioned having feelings of self-depreciation in connection with being overwhelmed before. Is this a pattern?
I think this is a pattern. When I get really depressed I feel like a failure and even doing things well is never good enough. While my perfectionism keeps me going, it can also cause me to be so critical of myself that no matter how hard I work it is never good enough. Especially when it comes to school/work as those are the few things I've ever really felt good at.

United with others in confidence in your future
Thank you for this. There are times that I need others to hold onto this for me when I can't see it as happening.

Googley I hate to see you , me or anyone like this . Stress is NOT good. How can you relieve this stress? NOT by hurting yourself. Relax . Take a warm bath. Breathe deeply . What does your therapist say about your situation? Did you discuss it with them?
I haven't been able to afford to see my T so I am on hiatus. I always feel weird talking about money with my T since it often has to do with me being able to pay her for her services. Plus I grew up never talking about money. Thanks for the support.

I really don't know googley.......sorry

((((((Gooogley)))))))) Take a deep breath, and step back. Look what you are doing.
You are under stress, right? Right. Tough stuff stress. Needs tough measures. But what's happening? You are calling your self names and taking the fact that your classes don't allow for reasonable working hours as proof of your worthlessness. Logical? NO. I don't see how it follows. That is not you speaking, that is underlying tendency to approach disappointment and stress and frustration according to Depression's rules, and not the rules of logic or actually solving the problem.
You are right. I do go by depression's rules when I get stressed out. And this time of year is especially bad. All the logic goes out the window. I think it was even worse because I saw a point where I wouldn't be able to pay my bills and just couldn't figure out how to make the numbers work so that I could. (though I figured out i can put a small amount on my credit card until my loans come through.)

Googley, you are a winner. The only people (or thing in D.'s case) who would say that you are not are liars. They have a hidden agenda and your best is not what they are after. You are obligated to do what you can, not measure up to some expectation of liviing that illness and other things make unreachable RIGHT NOW. You are studying, you are fighting a nasty chronic mood disorder, you are trying to sort yourself out at the same time you come here and reach out to the rest of us who have problems.
MR. D simply kicks the feet out from under people and lies to them when they are down. Is that a winner? NO! I know, when I start to mess something up, I start cussing at myself, and that is a powerfull urge that is hard to break. BUT I have been working on it, and it happens every couple of months now, not every day. Keep fighting it dear. Someday you'll be clear of this and on your own feet, but accept that it won't all happen now at the same time. Huggggs. Many and warm. Thank you. Sometimes I need people to remind me of what a mess the D logic is. And how much it takes over.

Dearest Googly, let's take a look at whats going on...the unemployment rate is in the double digits. The US Government had to bail out 3 major car manufactures this year alone. Massive layoffs happen daily. In other words, this is not your mother's economy. Please do not place the economy on your shoulders. It is happening but we can help eachother out. If you are in the US you can log onto United Way and get some assistance. Everyone knows how tough it is out there. Hang in there with us...please?
I will hang in there. It seems like the world is just eating me up and spitting me out. Until it stops eating me I will keep fighting.

No!!! You're not a failure!!!!

Failure is an event, never a person. ~William D. Brown Can I use this in my signature? I think it will help me in the future.

I know it's tough right now but take a step back and consider what you'd think about somebody else in the same position as yourself. Would you call them a failure, or just think that they're having a rough time right now? Depression tends to skew our perceptions of ourselves (and not for the better!) Jobs are hard to come by for anybody, it's not your fault that the economy and unemployment are so bad right now. And trust me, for a student, you spending money on therapy is a MUCH wiser choice than what a lot of students spend theirs on. I know someone who blew their entire student loan on booze in a single semester. THAT is failure. Doing what you're doing is planning ahead, protecting and taking care of yourself, doing what you need to in order to get by. It's a show of strength!

Thank you, I do tend to take too much blame. When I was a child I always thought that I was responsible for my family's problems. I've never really been able to let go of those responsibility feelings. And when I can't do anything about them I feel awful. But it is awesome to have people here to remind me that I am not responsible for the world.

Please do something kind for yourself. You deserve it.