Super long post I'm afraid but need to write this some where...

He moved you on Saturday... and we talked after on the phone. He was crying and couldn't talk properly. He had left me a letter at the house;

Belinda,
As I sit here looking around I realise you are right. I haven't deat with any of this. I have dne what I always do and ran from it.
I haven't dealt with the shame I feel for being a coward, for the pain and hurt I have caused you or the many many things I have done wrong since this happened.
I left the keys here because I don't wan you to have to see me again, I cannot believe that I had the guall to ask for your friendship, you should have spit in my face.
You said that everyone told you that you were too good for me, they were right. Dont ever make the kistake of ignoring them again. I don't deserve a second chance, you need to find someone who will give you everything you deserve and not a coward who will run at the first sign of trouble. You gave me 5 years of everything and I threw it all away and i can't even tell you why. I can't even tell myself why.
You asked me why I let her come into our house, I didn't have an answer, I knew it was wrong, I knew it was disrespectful, I think I know now, I did it because I couldn't deal with this. I couldn't live here while it was our house and I think letting her come here made it seem like if wasn't. I can never appologise enough to make p for that alone. I am sorry I did it, if I was a better man I wouldn't have done it. I would have dealt with it, I would have fought for us.
I should have tried harder to fix us. You are right you did deserve beter than me walking out on us. But you deserve beter than being with a piece of **** like me.
I know I shouldn't have written this. I know it is still communication but I couldn't walk out without explaining why I left the keys here. You should stop communicating with me, move on and forget you ever knew me. I can't believe I have the audacity to ask for your friendship after I threw away everything we had.
I sit here and think about the dreams we had, the future we had and the future I threw away. I can honestly say this is the sadest I have ever felt and it doesn't come close to how you feel.
I am sorry for everything i have done to you and I wont let you waste any more time on me.
I deserve nothing but your scorn, not a second chance. I wish I could have been the man you deserve. Goodbye Belinda, you will find someone who wil give you the love you, honestly and respect you deserve, don't be sad about this you should be happy to be rid of the weight that held you down for the last 5 years.

Mark

F*** it hurts...
He's still seeing her.. but says he doesn't know if he loves her or if he loves me... All he seems to know is that he couldn't hurt me like this again so he wont even think about trying...
I'd forgive him for being with her, i think have already.. I just want it to be my choice... I want to be able to say - we are giving it a go again... not at the same level and it's to be a new beginning but he just wont even go there.

I am cutting him off for the time being - atleast until after christmas... He will think about this everyday and surely re-bound relationships don't really work out...

Opinions please!