Yes I definitely have problems with this. I get very close to people very quickly. Then if there is a problem in the relationship, some disagreement, I retreat and won't communicate. I think this has to do with my need for perfection, I see it as a personal failure that a problem has arisen. I also think that once the person gets to know me fully they will not like me anymore because they will see what an ugly person I am under the exterior.

I have ended every single one of my relationships with boyfriends because I got frightened that they would end it with me first. Fear of rejection and need to be in control. I have had numerous groups of friends, close friendships typically lasting 6 years and then ending abruptly. Other acquaintances have shorter lifespans, I can get to know someone very intensly over, say, a month, and then the contact drops.

I am trying very hard to address this and to maintain the friendships I have at the moment and have made an effort to fight my urges to withdraw after conflict and face it. However in order to get over it quickly I seem to put the blame all on myself to make the other person feel better and reach resolution.

I sometimes wonder whether it is easier just to be alone... but I guess relationships with one another are what makes us human, so I'm gonna fight to have the healthiest relationships I can have.

Rambling a bit tonight, sorry guys.