I agree, I wasn't crying on the phone or anything, but I was just clearly down. After really thinking this out, and taking in the advice I recieved here and in real life, I think I need to go with my brain on this one and try to let her go. My heart got me into this mess, and consdering the beating it took I don't think it's in working order at the moment to make a smart decision. I don't really want to kid myself into thinking I can be her friend either. She was just too big of an impact on my life romantically for me to really think of her otherwise. At least that's how I feel now, maybe in a few months I can look at her a little differently.

Went out with some friends I hadn't seen in a while tonight and they tried to do the "You're single now, lets throw women at you" thing and I felt so strange, awkward and just NOT into it at all. So while I believe I've made a decision to let her go, I think it would also be wise to just stay single for now. Any relationship I'd get into now would probably just be based around my own loneliness rather than an actual connection. Besides, I have some work I need to do on myself in other areas as well.

You know tonight was the first night it really hit me that I am single now. It's a really strange feeling.