Is there a connection between the emptiness and feeling inherently evil? For example: do you see yourself as empty and therefore inherently evil?
So it can seem like the emptiness is being filled with food. Is food always on your mind because your weaknesses, the emptiness are always on your mind?
You mentioned that you fasted and then binged. Perhaps breaking a fast makes you feel especially inadequate and therefore triggers a binge?
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I wonder why the only time I feel normal is when I'm not eating at all, which is obviously abnormal
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Perhaps fasting brings numbness and thereby suppresses some unwelcome, "abnormal" feelings.
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It's already difficult to accept your own weakness, but it's even worse if everyone else gets to see it too, you know?
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It seems that your perfectionism is both for yourself and for appearances in front of others. You feel that your writing and drawing are inadequate, and showing them to others will top that off by embarrassing you in front of them. Is it the same when asking for help? You feel inadequate to need help, and ashamed to ask for it.
What happened five years ago, at your "lowest point"?