Hello all,

I just became separated from my wife of 5 years. It seems that we've been having problems for the past couple of years and I chose not to listen. We fought mostly about my negative attitude about life and how it wasn't good enough for me. I wanted more. She stuck by me and even told me she was depressed about this, but for some reason I didn't listen. When we got into a fight, I would apologize and swear I would never act that way again, and about 3-5 months later, it was happen all over. She has tried to leave me once, but we reconciled and I promised again that if we got to this point one more time, I would file the divorce papers. Well, it happened again. About 6 months ago, we both seemed like we were fed up with each other and I think the only reason we stuck around was because we have 2 children together. She moved out in December and it looked like everything was going fine, but we were still living a fake life. I would go over there almost every night, cuddle and give kisses. We still say we love each other and no matter what, we will be friends. I am working with a counselor to help me figure out what I can do to change my negative feelings to better myself, if not to fix this marriage, then to fix a future relationship so this doesn't happen again. Today seemed like a horrible day. I woke up feeling absolutely sad and lost. It felt like my heart broke in two and there was no reason for this. I spoke to my wife and she wants to keep this into a more separation than a role of her living somwhere else, which means no more coming over, just to pick up the kids for my scheduled days. Divorce was mentioned before, but now it's more like let's see how this plays out. It is very hard to think that my marriage could be over. I am very lonely at my house that was once filled with laughter and kids yelling, now is completly quiet. I keep on telling myself that there's a chance, however small, this can work and it keeps me going to become the husband she deserved. I know it's only been a month since she left, but it feels like an eternity.