Bill thanks for your kind words. They are very encouraging. Besides domestic violence counseling, I've had some counseling but not psychotherapy. I guess though it depends how you define psychotherapy. Oh, maybe I'm thinking of psychoanalysis, which is something I couldn't afford.

Living with him again certainly would make me very fearful. I'm already afraid now thinking of what he might do to himself or me.

Yesterday and today I subbed. I enjoy working with kids. It's good for me. During my work day, I don't think about him. And I haven't called him for two days. It's when I'm at home alone in the evenings that I feel the pain and terror of my relationship with him. Mostly, I feel for the sixteen years I was married to him, he did something to my mind, like he got in there and took control of my thinking. Now my job is to undo all that stuff.

Thanks to friends like you to help me see life can be good without him.