Hopeless..
Here's the kicker for me with that guy. I waitressed at the time, and maybe six months later, he and his wife(?) came in to the place I work, proceeded to get completely drunk, and get into a huge brawl...yuck.
My instincts were right on the money...and so are yours. I wish you the best in finding a therapist that works for you, they are out there, and you will know when you "click."
As far as the other comments either of the two docs have made to you, I think they are addressing a symptom, not a core issue...and the 22 times thing, that must be his wish in his life...tell him they call that projection, lol.
Please keep in touch ok?