Quote:
Originally Posted by LovebirdsFlying
I've changed my name. One unexpected benefit: It provides an excellent litmus test to see who in my family respects my feelings, and who doesn't. Verbal and emotional abuse can be so subtle that a lot of times the victim misses it. But there's no denying who calls me by my birth name, thus giving me the message "I don't give a darn what you want," and who calls me by the name I selected, thereby saying, "Your feelings matter to me." (I make allowances for relatives in a compromised mental state, who may not be able to adapt to the change.)
There is a lot of emotional baggage attached to a name. I've been yelled at so much that I cannot hear my own birth name without thinking, "What am I in trouble for now?" I just grew to hate the sound of it. Besides, it was easy to turn into a joke (which school kids gladly did!) and in my opinion was too boyish. I wanted a name that clearly said "feminine."
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Thank you. I feel the very same way. My name makes me feel like a looser and I have never done anything to deserve that lable. I don't use drugs and only drink on occasion. Really, honestly, the worst thing I did as a teen was once I got drunk with a neighbor kid and I got caught smoking cigarettes and the normal teen attitude. I followed a sister I could not live up to. I was told I would never go to college ( which I am now ha ha ) and blamed for just about anything that happened in our house. It was horrible. One would think that life would get better when you get older. I don't think my mother knew she was destroying me. She knows now. It's all over the TV, newspapers and internet. I have been married twice once when I was very young. The second husband is an alcoholic. Both were controlling and mean, just like mother. I will see her only one more time, when she is ready to pass. I will have my college degree in hand and I will say goodbye and watch her cry like she has made me cry for many, many years. I will fix me, name change or not. I will continue to pray and ask God to help me forgive her. Maybe I will someday. Thanks for listening once again...