</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Broken_Wing said:
The online friendship began innocently, through a common interest message board. I wasn't pursuing anything other than conversation and friendship with this incredibly intellectual person.

When we first talked, it was like I connected on a spiritual level and he felt the same way. It may sound silly or romantic to some people, but we immediately felt as if we already knew each other.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">red flag number one </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
The relationship I am in is not a particularly happy one, so my straying from it to be close to my online friend isn't something that is totally surprising. Sometimes one reaches out to another if they feel a connection.

My partner does not know about the online friendship.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> red flag number two </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
As for the time and energy involved, I will invest all the time and energy I can. I feel that we two have met for a reason, and I care very much for him. There is no way I would abandon him at this point, and he knows that.

Excellent points. I do have issues with insecurity but as I read this board and talk to my friend more I realize that he is losing time and it isn't a case of avoidance on his part. I understand and support him, and wait for when he is ready to talk.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> third red flag!

the friendship began innocently what's to keep it from remaining innocent??

your depression that you contend with is something that can make one feel more easily connected to others who are suffering along that mental health continuum.

the fact that your relationship with your bf isn't a happy one and you are seeking emotional attention elsewhere is not a good sign. we speak from painful hard earned/hard learned experience on this one.

that you mention the spiritual connection from when you first talked adds to the possible non-reality based nature of this friendship.

Sarah wrote some great insights into online dramatics with relationships in her post above.

As for the time and energy involved, I will invest all the time and energy I can. I feel that we two have met for a reason ok. just make sure to take care of you and your needs first before becoming so attached to this friend that you are spending countless hours on the phone providing support.

do you discuss your depression or relationship woes with your friend? if not then we wonder what level of relationship you are building with your new friend.

with concern,