I'm very overwhelmed. My situation at home is only getting worse, with my parents fighting more, my mom working more, my dad being angrier, and money even tighter. At school, I'm in 3 Advanced Placement classes, which provides a rigorous schedule and a lot of daily homework. Then there's the good ol' dissociation, which (not to be left out) has gotten worse as well. Plus now I'm mixing up words more than ever before, and it's getting so bad that I won't even realize it unless someone mentions it. This of course adds to the seemingly common belief around school that I'm really weird and somewhat not right. Psychologically, I'm a complete mess. My ADD is really bad these days, which in turn affects school work and concentration, which then affects my stress level, and so on. Every little thing just amplifies everything else. I just need to get my stress level down, because I'm so wound up I'm liable to do something stupid. I haven't relapsed or cut or anything, but I've been thinking about it way too much lately. I've even had a couple periods of suicidality; though I highly doubt (unless something REALLY REALLY triggered me) I'd actually carry it out, nevertheless the fact that the thought is present is disconcerting. I hung out with my best friend yesterday and afterwards, I just felt so...carefree. I could breathe normally, deal with stuff, and I didn't always have palpitations or the beginning of a panic attack. I don't really know that that's a "permanent" stress reliever (cause it always comes back). I need to figure out a way to destress, without screwing up everything I'm working for.