I really dont know what to post anymore. I always feel the same. Horrible. Nothing changes. I have chronic suicidal thoughts that landed me in hte hospital 6 times this year. I just got out and feel like they let me go too early. But i just cant do it again. Im sorry for postiing the same things but this is where im at. Im trapped in a deep, dark, cold abyss. I feel this must be hell it cant get any worse. Nomatter what i do, who im with i feel the same. Im physically and mentally exhausted trying to keep my head busy. I dont know what else to do, so im posting. Sorry for rambling. I have a therapist i see 2x week. Im in a day program. This depression just isnt breaking.i feel lonely in my little life raft.sorrry