Things have been getting steadily worse, I keep having to ask the teachers to be excused so I can run to the girls toilets and fall to pieces, and I can't even cry; I just clutch my head and try not to scream, or Ill be sat there and these waves of crushing emotional pain will wash over me, and I that's the only time when I feel like crying. I'm no fun to be around because I can't talk because Im either mentally preoccupied or scared that I might say something hurtful or crazy and they'll finally realise my mental health problems and depression and lock me up, and I hate being so weak and scared and vulnerable and paranoid, Ive dropped a clothes size recently, and Im so insane and mental and screwed up, and I know that no one ever likes me or will like me, and that no one cares or will ever care and it hurts so much, I just want to step in front of a moving car, and I almost did the other day.

(Already published this on Deppression, but put it here as well)