I think what what made this T special is that she was willing to "go above and beyond" for YOU. Maybe it was a boundary crossing, maybe even at the time part of you could not get comfortable with it, but now from a more mature pespective your looking back and saying "wow, thank you. I had no idea at the time what you were doing for me and how special it was and how important it was. Thank you." She will benefit from hearing that. Wheither she remembers the details the way you do or not. Your telling her that...she was important, that her acts of kindness still live inside you...haven't been forgotten. John Dewey said to be important is one of man's deepest needs. I think just writing a short simple thank you card to her would mean a lot.IDK since I've come out of jerk mode, expressing thank you and worrying about how it might be received has been a real challenge. But one think I often realize in the process is that me saying thank you is a not harm act. If the person I express it to doesn't receive it well or doesn't understand it...that's ok. They just toss the card and say whatever. No one I know get mad or upset if you accidentally thank them. Also, For me, I feel good because I don't carry around the guilt of ...not saying what I wanted to say.

My recommendation is to write a short thank you indicating that her caring at that time really impacted you. You might also write one sentence about regeting how you ended the contact with her, she deserved better. Then you might include your contact information if she's interested in reconnecting. And that's it.

This way you say thank you and open the door. The hard part is just leaving it at that. You may want to explain your actions, you may want to reconnect with her but the purpose of the note is just to say thank you. You can't worry about what might or might not happen after its received. Now I think about gratitude as a true gift...no strings attached. I assume the person receiving it will at least say, "ah, that was throughtful." For me...I feel good because I said what I felt for a change. Win-win as they say.