Hey everyone,

Ever since I had my first "breakdown" about 15 months ago, I've been REALLY bad for keeping socializing plans with my friends. We'd make plans, and then I'd cancel. Sometimes it'd be because I was anxious, but mostly because I'd be feeling depressed and not up to it.

As of recent, however, I've been sad to learn that my friends don't even include me in plans BECAUSE I've cancelled so much in the past. :/ They have no faith in me anymore. A couple of times I've jokingly said "Hey guys, how about inviting me?" And they'd answer with something like "But we know you'd cancel", or "As if you'd go!"

This makes me feel even more down and depressed...since my first "breakdown", I've only kept in touch with 2 friends basically...I'm not the best at socializing. I'm fine at school, I'm actually considered pretty funny...but I can hardly make plans outside of school without cancelling.

I'm not even sure if I'm asking for help, because I can predict your answers: "You just have to get out more, try new things! Don't be afraid!" But I'm not afraid...I just don't do it.