That really resonates with me. I have never actually tried, though I have come close...but during dangerously dark times, the thought of my kids suffering has always prevented me from going any further.

I have felt the same way before. It scares me to read previous notes i have written, citing the latter sentence in your quote there. Your children need you. You just have to think, to know, that you will come out of this depression. If you go away, your children will have to suffer from that for the rest of their lives. Depressions do not last forever...the "other thing" does.

That's the conclusion i have come to. Others' will face challenges during depressive episodes, and any emotional wounds will heal over time. There are so many more great moments to experience during life.

But they will face a never-ending and life-long emotional hardship if you go away, maybe even to the point where they suffer the same fate.

I don't know if we're suppose to talk about this on here, because it may be triggering, but you used the triggering icon, so I think it's fine. i just want you to know that I have asked myself the same question many times. And it's always better to be there, especially for your loved ones, and they do love you! Episodes are just that, episodes, they come and go. If you take the other action, it is eternal, and brings about eternal suffering for everyone still here.

That is the realization that I have come to when facing this question. If there is any ambiguity in my post, what I'm saying is...you need to stay here!

Please get help. Even a general practitioner can prescribe meds for mental health issues.