Quote:
Originally Posted by Envision
On the Dean's list, and you have a dream. That shows that the core of you is working perfectly and its just the current crap that's messing things up. Might be a good idea for a while to try to find another T, someone you like, and if the Lexapro worked before, try that again. Family stuff can sometimes be fixed, other times, its best to not spend tons of time on something that can't change, you know? Life can sometimes feel like its working against every positive thing your trying to do. Don't give up. Tell us more about your "friend", that seems to be a potential positive.
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Thanks for the kind words, I appreciated them! Truth be told I do like my T, I just lately haven't really felt like being totally honest with ALL my feelings...I tell him about all the bad stuff but not all the good stuff...like my friend...honestly I don't talk about him to anyone anymore since I got tired of people calling me dumb, stupid and crazy for liking him...no as I've said we have never met yet and no we don't chat every sinngle day, however I consider him my friend because he's never made empty promises to me like my other "friends", especially guys...he always tells me not to give up...haven't talked to him in awhile because his computer crashed and it has to be replaced and he's not a tech savvy guy so it's going to take forever for him to get used to new one...lol...really missing him...but I know he'll be back...see that's where I'm crazy, stupid and dumb because as my "loving" sister always says I need a man ANY man...don't want ANY man, I want him...I can talk to him about everything...he doesn't just see me as a piece of *****...he listens to me when I talk about graduating and opening my own business...if I say I got a "B" in one of my courses he says better get an "A" next time...ok I'm going on and on I know but he is a shining light my life at the moment...no I'm not in love with him since I don't know him enough, it's not an obsession either, but thinking about him and looking at his picture makes me smile which is very rare for me these days...my main priority in life for the past 14 years has been my son and it still is even though he can't stand me at this moment, more like EVERYDAY, after that my main thing is my school and graduating to open my bakery!!!! I'm so happy about that, yet so sad because my son could care less, he even told me he doesn't want to go to my graduation (Feb 2011). Tried to explain I'm not only doing this for me but him too...so I just do the best I can as far as he goes and then I think of my friend being at graduation...then I beat myself up and tell myself shame on me I must be a terrible mom...maybe I am...