Yeah, first off bad idea getting into the email on one hand, but the other hand, you two should be able to sit down and talk about anything and everything. So I feel she is at fault sharing what I feel is a very personal issue with her GF. And I dont care how long they have known each other. Even my fmaily does not know about some of the issues I have been going through. I sit down with my husband, and beleive me it is not always easy. But if I cant go to him...
Yeah , we say neg. things from time to time, we are not perfect. We get mad, we vent. BUt you have to have that foundation with that person whom you commited your life with for BETTER or WORSE..lot of people cant deal with the worse part. We dont pray to get an illness. It just happens.

Dont think you mentioned how long married. We are 20 yrs, 19 of that in the military.With all my problems and military issues..wow. We have had alot of talks over the years, makes us understand more.

Sounds like you have alot on your plate, medically. You stated she has depression as well, is she in treament? First step is seeing the problem, right now I see it as her ****** attitude. Yeah, you may be working alot or whatnot, and that is more stress on the mind and body. If she is not in treatment she NEEDS to be. And first off I would put my foot down about talking to people outside the home about your personal issues., even though you snooped.
You need a support system to help maintain your sanity.Not someone that knocks you down or around.