Thanks all.. I don't really feel better today. Just depressed and thinking T didn't even want to know all that grossness and it's all just disgusting and I'm just disgusting. No one to talk to except you guys.. just want to throw up. I can't think of anything to do to feel better. Emailed T and just said I thought we went too far. Now she's going to feel bad and it's my fault. I just wish I hadn't said anything. What good will it do if she's never ever helped someone else with a problem like mine?? Just ugh. What a waste. I feel like I have a physical sickness. Worse than that. Thanks for the hitting things suggestion tree but I just don't have it in me. The anger isn't like that, and the ick doesn't want to get written down. I don't know what to do with this.