Well first off I am a rather honest person. While I may not make strong emotional connections I don't usually go around berating people either. Also I tend to connect really well with children as they have not been corrupted by the reality of life, and are not entirely consumed with only themselves. It's true that they live mostly in their own worlds but it is out of innocence that they do this. Adults do it out of selfishness and callousness. On top of this adults lie to other people, and if that wasn't bad enough they lie to themselves so much and don't even recognize when they are doing it.

I could provide a friendship to this lady and her daughter, create something like a surrogate family, and at least do what I can to take care of their financial needs. I am not talking about making this woman fall in love with me, I have no desire to get emotionally attached, but I don't see a problem being the guy who is just there, that people just see as having always been there. I'm not sure if that makes any sense.

The child is already 6 and has seen many men come and go from her mothers life, and is at an age where she notices these things. Even if I don't fill the role as father I may provide some form of stability as a male figure in her life. It may sound cold to talk about it this way but I do have the girls best intentions in mind.

I have already begun to talk to her about my views, and about my cynicism. I don't plan on manipulating her if I can help it. I think if I just am honest and approach the situation slowly I may be able to establish a friendship without any real attachments, and hopefully can create a surrogate family without anyone really noticing.

At least this is how I have planned it in my head. I am unsure as there are many factors to take into consideration, and I know it trifling with matters of the heart is not something to be taken lightly. Still if I do nothing at all then I feel that would be worse than trying and failing.

Either way, I have several goals now to make myself a more interactive member of the community. Whether or not they will pan out is yet to be seen but I believe as long as I can keep my wits about me I should be successful in at least one of them.

Believe me when I say I have no intentions of harming anyone emotionally, especially a child. If I honestly think that my presence will be of a disruptive nature in any way I will remove myself from the situation. I have no desire to drag other people down with me should I stumble again.

thanks for the replies, I appreciate the different views on the matter and am glad I brought it up. I was unsure whether anyone would have an open mind at all and it pleases me to see that some people do. Thanks again