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Anderson,
I think it would be lovely to have a decent cup-of-tea with parts of all of you, Anderson. Even though, my guess is, some don't drink tea so they could have a beverage of the body's choosing.
Futility exists for me in thinking that I appear anything but average to anyone else at first meeting. With those I've known longer they probably have interacted with many different parts of me but to be honest I would not have a clue how to be that specific. What I trust is, is that the general rule within is not harm the internal selves or the external ones and to not let the external ones hurt the internal ones.
So, then how do I interact with them, outsiders? Well for people at work it becomes the task of those that do the work, for those that have more social contacts it is those that say have an interest in common, like art, church, family events, fitness coaching, aacoa.
I am pretty much reenergized by much alone time but I don't considered myself reclusive. I recently thought about taking some coursework again and would like to investigate that, so there is that social context.
As far as best friends to a best friend, I don't know. I have been hurt too. Intimacy scares me. That makes trusting others difficult. How could any one person be able to be all that safe for me? I think it is up to me to be safe and interact with the most safe people I can find.
My relationship with my higher power/spiritual director/God makes me be able to have a connection, sometimes involving a knowing and feeling, sometimes not, sometimes it's just faith and faith is not a thought or feeling, it just kind of exists.
Maybe I see getting someone to understand me is rather random but then there are people here on PC and perhaps elsewhere who get it but maybe they wouldn't get it all the time, in person, everyday, on an ongoing basis. How much can one expect?
Right now I am trying to work something out with someone in a group I am in. I think this person may be just as dissociated as anyone I have ever come up against but she doesn't know it, so I am unsure as to whom I am speaking with as I am trying to resolve something between us. *sigh* It gets quite complicated. Maybe those of us who know we are dissociated to some extent or another are actually the better off. I find this person fairly controlling, a bit of a pain in the butt, you know and she knows something of herself but really finds it difficult. I have a kind of commitment to the relationship in a group context so I guess I will persevere but not sure for how long.
Maybe it is just enough to have a decent cup-of-tea together? Maybe to just be in the presence of? Maybe I just need to sit with you and have a cup of tea and exchange vibes, who knows. Maybe that is really all we all have? I would love to meet you all, in person, I think. It would be a bit like meeting a family member who you have never met before. In someways we all here are more connected to each other than to our own family (and gratefully so I might say).
!
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