I feel like I can relate to how you're feeling so I'm saying to you the same thing I'm trying to keep in mind: take it easy on yourself! Things are stressful enough without being hard on yourself.

If you check into a hospital I strongly advise that you make sure that you will be able to check yourself out when you want. Get it in writing with one of your family members present. I voluntarily admitted myself and was outright lied to repeatedly about being able to leave on my own accord. Long story short I thought I was going in overnight and was trapped with the threat of a court order for ten days. Please be careful and be good to yourself.