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Originally Posted by salukigirl
Well the current bf can just be really mean sometimes. Like when we are arguing he will start mocking or making fun of me which just makes the situation worse and he doesn't seem to get that.
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this is a tough situation. how well do you really know this other guy? you said you've been friends for years but do you think you have a good idea of what he's like in various situations or as a boyfriend? well, as much as you can possibly know that last part.
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But at the same time, I don't know if I'm thinking about this other guy because I'm scared about my current relationship and maybe its just an escape or if its real? And I really do love my current bf and we have a lot of fun together. He always makes me laugh but is sorta a negative person sometimes. I kind of feel like I'm always the one trying to look on the bright side or lighten the mood.
The other guy is always happy-go-lucky but that sorta equals out to not really having serious, thoughtful conversations sometimes. But even my sister and my brother said that they could tell he is just head over heels for me by the way he looks at me. No one has ever said that about my current bf.
Whenever we have talked about potentially changing something to be closer to the other person he always says that theres no way he would let me compromise my education for him and I don't expect him to do that either. Where his career is taking him is towards big cities and mine is the opposite. Whereas my current bf likes the slower lifestyle and outdoors more like me. But he isn't as motivated as this other guy and I am super motivated so that can kind of bug me when someone just doesn't seem like a go-getter.
I just don't know. I find positives and negatives about both situations. And then what if I really do uproot or he does to be with one another and it turns out were better as friends? Ugh! Why are men so damn complicated?
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it sounds like you have to decide what is most important to you. maybe if you can look at it like what would you regret most if you didn't have it as an old woman? the thoughtful conversations? living a simpler lifestyle? the passion you feel with the other guy? other qualities? which one do you think you'd want to grow old with? maybe try to figure out independent of either of them what is most important to you in a guy. if you and this other guy don't ever try to be together would you look back on your life at 80 and be kicking yourself? i tend to think it's better to give things a real shot, even if it doesn't work out, than to settle. that's my 2 cents.
