Martina, you've got major stressors going on! That's not "good", I think just about anyone would crack under that, not just you.

Some of the old things that have happened; the fund raiser that blew up, you have to let go of if they've already happened. You have too much that's going on in current time to worry about the already happened old stuff.

You haven't lost your job yet. Figure out ways to help yourself at work so you don't have to leave. I use to take favorite books and read half a page or so every now and then. Don't take any money or more food than you "need" to work; plan what you're going to take/eat and have no way to get more. I'm well over 200 pounds so sounds like you're doing well (don't know how tall you are, I'm 5'6"). I named the snack machine at work, "Huge Harold" and gave it a nasty personality so I didn't want to go near it (very large, dripping nose, bad smell, etc. :-) and extended it to the soda machine too and actually managed to make myself a bit afraid of them when I was in the snack room by myself, LOL.