(((((gentle hugs))))

A few things...

I think its great that you're reaching out and you came to this site. There are many many kind-hearted people here and I know that you will connect with at least one, if not more of them. The thing with this site though, is that there the large majority of the members come here for support themselves. While you may feel that people are turning a cold shoulder on you, a more likely justification for their absenteeism probably has to do with their own struggles, and their silence is more a reflection of something they are currently struggling with, rather than them deciding they don't like you and don't want to be your friend.

I see also that another member has commented that your behaviour towards this boy is similar to that of others towards yourself (that you don't like). I know it can be difficult (and sometimes annoying) when you have someone who likes you and in whom you do not reciprocate those feelings for. But... perhaps, perhaps he's just as lonely as you are and is looking for a friend? Perhaps he feels as though you are just one other person in his life who is rejecting him. Perhaps he see's that you might share a similarity, and is trying to reach out to form a friendship. Now, I don't know this guy, for all I know he is a perv who is stalking you (though I hope not), but maybe if you firmly explained to him that you don't have romantic feelings for him, maybe he could accept that, and you two could become friends?

I know how hard it is to fake a smile, and I can only imagine the pain you must be in with regards to how your mother treats you , but you have to fight those urges to end it all. I'm sure you've heard it before, but things DO get better after High School. High School can be really tough, and people can be really cruel, but for every cruel person there is at least one person who cares. You will find a solid group of people who understand you and share in similar struggles.

Don't give up on people here at PC yet... stick around and you'll find your own little niche here.

Jacq