My friends, I am worried, scared and tired. I must find employment, I must endure, I must "snap out of it". All these words spoken to me by people who are ignorant of the everyday hell we all must endure. Are they right? In reality, sure they are! Nothing is free. I am homeless, and yes, I need a job. I realize this more than anyone. Am I to blame for my current situation? How can I be when every day life for me is plunging down to deep an dark places. Am I unconsciously sabotaging myself? How come I feel so guilty and ashamed about my depression? How can I pursue a life of normalcy when I don't know how to be normal? I function on such an erratic level, I find it very difficult to concentrate on what must be accomplished. My current meds are ineffective, my sanity is razor thin. Thanks for reading and I wish all of you the best.