How do you let it go and forgive -

How do you forget ...

How do you move on...

How do you ever let a man touch you again....

without disapearing inside yourself....

I want to be human agian - to feel and not fear being touched - i so long to be hugged - but nothign else ....... i dont feel real ... like a shalow husk of a person....

I want to be loved ...i want to love....

I want to share life wiht someone.. to have hopes and dreams...

but parts are missing ..
the parts that can bear to be touched

the part that would lay wiht a man

even saying that makes me shake inside and i step back

i just want to feel

and be human

and not be alone anymore

i want someone to hold me and make me fel safe and say it wil be ok

lol

but it wont... i dont think it ever wil be.