Why is it that sometimes I feel just fine, healthy, well rounded, feet on the ground and then.....BOOM!!! i'm on the ground. My self esteem is gone, I can't look at myself in the mirror and I have to tell myself over and over again that things will be ok, this will pass. I am still increasing my Lamictal, at the moment it's at 150 mg once daily. I'm not noticing any real change. As a matter of fact have noticed I'm less tollerant, more angry lately and very touchy. Has anyone had problems being on this med? I'm feeling confused. Maybe what I'm feeling is more behavioral than med related. I have a tendancy to lean too much on the person I love b/c I feel alone at times and have no friends. I want to make friends but don't know where to start. I've lived where I do for 3 years and other than trying to focus on myself making it out of a 12 year relationship and still learning to make it on my own for the first time in my life without children it has been super scary at times and I have a hard time reaching out. It's time to start but every time I have the oppertunity I mess it up somehow b/c I make some excuse not to do it. I don't know, all I know is there is some explanation and I'm not sure where to look. Any ideas would be helpful.

thanks