Thread: avoidance
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Old Sep 21, 2010, 06:55 AM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge View Post
After some of the horrenduous things that happened in our family, it was time for birthday or Christmas celebrations and they'd ask, what gift do you want? I never found it in the toy catalog. I had no words for it, but what I wanted was for us to be a real family, without secrets, without tyranny, without favoritism, without manipulation, without agendas; with hugs, with acceptance and encouragement, with safety and security, with love and teaching ("nurturance" I guess is a word for some of this).
Boy, do I get this.........

Quote:
Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge View Post
in therapy yes I have discovered a lot of what was really going on in my FOO, what my growing up years were really like;

but I am still pushing that knowledge away, it HURTS.
This is totally understandable too......

Next step? Acceptance? and getting out by going through........

When we are growing up we are supposed to be letting our feelings out and processing things by our parents talking to us and acknowledging our feelings. When this doesn't happen this stuff gets stuffed and the machine won't work if it is overloaded. The path to health is to unload this stuff and allow those feelings out. It is the only way.
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ