((((((((jrae)))))))) maybe seeing your doc would help you sort out these emotions. i'm sure you may feel overwhelmed but you do have 5 weeks to try to adjust to their plan or one of your choosing. we're here to listen. 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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