((((( Jen ))))))

It really sounds like you've hit the bottom. Don't give up now, don't quit therapy and call your t if you need to. They get good money for doing what they do and you don't have to feel bad about it. They became therapists because they want to help, and you sound like you need help. I wish I could do more or say something constructive, but all I can say is just DON"T GIVE UP!

Sending you lots of love
Pix