Quote:
Originally Posted by pachyderm
That is not how I see this culture. I see this culture as demanding responsibility (from others) without providing much in the way of support in upbringing so that people can accept responsibility naturally -- which is what I think people would do.
As for sexual "addiction", I have had for a long time what seems quite a different view of it. It signifies, as I see it, a deprivation, not an excess. People who are deprived in their own minds of the ability to recognize naturally-occurring sexual feelings and thoughts have to try to compensate for that by repeating sexual encounters over and over. And since the deprivation is in their minds, having sex over and over does not get at the root of the thought-censorship which is inside them, and it does not solve the problem. I see thought-censorship as a result of having learned as a child that sex is bad, and should not be thought about. So the thoughts, which at a certain age should find a straightforward outlet, have to find a hidden one.
In other words, I see sexual "addiction" as a sign of repression, not of excess sexuality. Too little sexual self-acceptance, not too much. That is why the "addiction" is compulsive: it never finds a true outlet and has to be repeated. It is not simple enjoyment, but frustration and suffering.
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Interesting-- your view of the culture. I appreciate your post.
I think I understand what your are saying-- that the culture should consider ones upbringing when considering a persons responsibility. But then one could use that their whole adult life and get away with abuse-- when would an adult ever be held responsible then? there are millions of people out there that have been, as children, abused/neglected and traumatized-- so the small percent that committ crimes -we should just absolve them ?
If it's like what you say-- a "deprivation"-- then it would seem it would be on a similar lines as the "abandonment" issues in borderline disorder-- and that is considered a "disorder". It's a-- running from/or to some feeling. I don't see where that is an addiction.
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I see thought-censorship as a result of having learned as a child that sex is bad, and should not be thought about. So the thoughts, which at a certain age should find a straightforward outlet, have to find a hidden one. " This may be the case in a small percentage, but I highly doubt-- what with the over sexed culture we have-- that most sex "addicts" are of this background. My view is that-(the majority) its more of the mind set of - "I want it so I'm going to have it" or "I can't help myself-- it was there and I just couldn't help myself".
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In other words, I see sexual "addiction" as a sign of repression, not of excess sexuality. Too little sexual self-acceptance, not too much. " I truly don't see-- since most sex addicts are men-- how the issue is repression. My god-- they are encouraged to be sexual in commercials, movies, TV shows by their peers-- the whole culture bends to men and their sexual desires/drive-- the main attraction of the Las Vegas mindset-- topless women and legal prostitution(I know it's not legal IN Vegas but is in the suburbs and that is an attraction for some men to go there) There are naked women dance clubs in almost EVERY town in the US... I don't see how men are repressed from their sexuality. I do think it's an overindulgence and a mindset of -- it's all for me and I'm going to have it.... regardless of what it does to my wife/girlfriend or my family.
I can truly see what you mean pachyderm about a few young males made to feel bad about their natural sexual drive-- and for them I can see where-- as young adults I could see where they could have some struggles.
respectfully,
fins