May I ask what if any meds u take for sleep? I am living in hell to so I'm not totally qualified offering any good advise except this. If you truly feel like ending your life. you really should find a way 2 b safe even if it means having a friend stay with you for a few days. I feel all the emotions that you just wrote however, I can't work so I can sleep during the day. I feel bad 4 you. I also have problems with sleep. It is 2:30A.M. and I am on my 3rd pot of coffee but may be able to sleep some now because I took more morphine 4 my pain.

I am not one to say hang in there but rather this.

Try to see the moon tonight, and see the sunlight in the morning. If you, or myself.....ALL of us can do that then we can know in our hearts no matter how dark every thing feels that we ARE still here.