I guess I really don't know why I am writing this. I guess I just had to get it out. I be hurting so bad. I love a friend of mine, her mom and her aunt to death. But I lied to and manipulated them so bad that I don't even know what the truth is anymore. I said things that scared them. I don't know why. Attention maybe. They be gone now. They be the nicest people that I know and I will never forgive myself for hurting them so bad when all they did was try to help me and show me love and then I would go completely against their advice. But not anymore, now I have to grow up. I have to become that person they knew I could be. I want them to know that I am changing for the better and that I am sorry above and beyond words. But it is too late. The best people in my life are gone forever because of what I have done. I was never a friend to them. I just used them. And they had so much crap in their lives right then as it was. I can't bear thinking of the pain I must have put them and their family through. I will love them forever. But never did I show it. I will never forgive myself and never stop trying to perfect myself for their sake.

People know a little about everything and alot about nothing.