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#1
Dec 06, 2003, 06:05 PM
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I guess I really don't know why I am writing this. I guess I just had to get it out. I be hurting so bad. I love a friend of mine, her mom and her aunt to death. But I lied to and manipulated them so bad that I don't even know what the truth is anymore. I said things that scared them. I don't know why. Attention maybe. They be gone now. They be the nicest people that I know and I will never forgive myself for hurting them so bad when all they did was try to help me and show me love and then I would go completely against their advice. But not anymore, now I have to grow up. I have to become that person they knew I could be. I want them to know that I am changing for the better and that I am sorry above and beyond words. But it is too late. The best people in my life are gone forever because of what I have done. I was never a friend to them. I just used them. And they had so much crap in their lives right then as it was. I can't bear thinking of the pain I must have put them and their family through. I will love them forever. But never did I show it. I will never forgive myself and never stop trying to perfect myself for their sake.
People know a little about everything and alot about nothing.
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People know a little about everything and alot about nothing. |
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#2
Dec 06, 2003, 09:18 PM
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Wow Shannon... you have taken a bad situation and are using the pain to make better choices. Good for you! Hey... don't give up so quickly. When they see you have made sincere changes, they may be back in your life. You will have to prove it to them though. You have a good head on your shoulders. I have been reading your posts.
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Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in one pretty and well preserved piece...but to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, worn out and defiantly shouting "Wow! What a ride!" |
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#3
Dec 12, 2003, 12:42 AM
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..
It sounds like you knew what you were doing. and you want to make amends.. you will be able to forgive yourslef.. I know we all are human and make mistakes, if we ask for forgivness it may just be giving. Keep your head held high.. tell them you love them, and move on with your life. I want you to know I think everythng you are doing is a grreat thing.. Right now, you are growing up, and for the better.. Good luck.. {{{{{{{{{{ hugs to you.. }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} <font color=purple>The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost. - G.K. Chesterton <font color=purple>
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#4
Dec 12, 2003, 04:05 PM
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Thank you willow. I think I will have to become Jesus before they ever decide to give me half of a highly undeserved chance. I can't even talk to my friend and her mom, I don't have their # anymore. And when I talk to their aunt, I don't feel like I can get in the things I need to say because our conversation always gets cut short. Maybe when I come back from training their aunt will actually talk to me. Or maybe after I graduate from West Point. That I will never give up hope on.
People know a little about everything and alot about nothing.
__________________
People know a little about everything and alot about nothing. |
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#5
Dec 12, 2003, 04:11 PM
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Thanks Dragon. I hope I can forgive myself. But I don't think it will be anytime soon. It kills me to even think about the pain and disappointment I have put them through, but I do think about it all the time. It's like I don't even miss them anymore, but I just can't forgive myself unless I could somehow appologize to them.
People know a little about everything and alot about nothing.
__________________
People know a little about everything and alot about nothing. |
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#6
Dec 12, 2003, 05:18 PM
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You are very welcome..
Fogiving yourslef is always the hardest part to do. But aplogzing will be harder because you know what you did was wrong. But have trust in yourself, and a keep in mind that at one time they loved you just as much you love them.. Love can conqure almost everything.... <font color=purple>The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost. - G.K. Chesterton <font color=purple>
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#7
Dec 12, 2003, 09:07 PM
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Well... you might not ever be Jesus... but you can sure make some heartfelt change that prooves a change. It'll take awhile for them to trust you again. And you are right... they may never trust you again... but it's been known to happen.
__________________
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in one pretty and well preserved piece...but to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, worn out and defiantly shouting "Wow! What a ride!" |
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#8
Dec 13, 2003, 09:00 PM
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Thank you willow and dragon
People know a little about everything and alot about nothing.
__________________
People know a little about everything and alot about nothing. |
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#9
Dec 13, 2003, 10:09 PM
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You are very welcome.
I will help in any way that I can <font color=purple>The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost. - G.K. Chesterton <font color=purple>
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#10
Dec 13, 2003, 11:25 PM
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You are the best patricia
People know a little about everything and alot about nothing.
__________________
People know a little about everything and alot about nothing. |
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#11
Dec 14, 2003, 08:31 AM
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((((umo))))
__________________
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in one pretty and well preserved piece...but to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, worn out and defiantly shouting "Wow! What a ride!" |
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#12
Dec 14, 2003, 11:46 AM
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You are great too.. I just do not tell you very often..
<font color=purple>The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost. - G.K. Chesterton <font color=purple>
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#13
Dec 17, 2003, 09:02 PM
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well why the hell not?! just kidding lol I don't tell you very often either my bad
Hugs to you, Shannan People know a little about everything and alot about nothing.
__________________
People know a little about everything and alot about nothing. |
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#14
Dec 17, 2003, 09:04 PM
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Well why the hell not?!!!! Just kidding. lol I don't tell you very much either. My bad.
Hugs to you, Shannan People know a little about everything and alot about nothing.
__________________
People know a little about everything and alot about nothing. |
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#15
Dec 19, 2003, 04:59 PM
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no
you are a very special person to me right now.. Thakn you for calling to check on me lately.. I do apperaciate it. <font color=purple>The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost. - G.K. Chesterton <font color=purple>
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#16
Dec 19, 2003, 07:20 PM
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Yay! Feelin' the love. lol
Hugs and kisses to you, Shannan People know a little about everything and alot about nothing.
__________________
People know a little about everything and alot about nothing. |
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