Zoo,
First off let me say that I was smiling too when I read your post. I think that it was a really sweet moment that you shared with your t. I am super excited that she gave you a hug. I hope you are able to recall that hug in your mind in times that you are in desperate need of one.

I understand feeling really wiped out after therapy and feeling the need to hibernate for a period after. Not to mention the anticipation work. Surely not many people get the total amount of hours we put in each week doing therapy stuff. It isn't just 50 minutes is it? I hope you find a way to take care of yourself and try to establish your equilibrium again. Take that hug with you and stick it in your back pocket.

Now I wanted to say a couple things also about the lurker thread. I didn't want to post on there because I didn't want to add into the attack you were feeling. I understand it can be hard to have worried thoughts about the guests that are reading. I wanted to bring another perspective to that as well. As a newbie I guess I am just one that jumped right in too. I have never been on anyother chat boards or whatever you call them. I get anxieties over whether the regulars will let me in. Whether they will care and respond to my posts. When some people post there is always an outpouring of support for them because of their already formed relationships and when others post there sometimes isn't that much feedback depending on the topic. Now this is not always the case but I am just expressing how I have felt at times when I post and return a day or so later and there is only maybe one reply. I am not generalizing saying this is always how it works. I am just being vulnerable here and saying how I feel about this forum at times. I have never really thought about those who don't participate.

I also just wanted to say a couple more things. I too follow your posts because I have grown to care about you and your therapy process. I get excited to know how your anniversary session went and look forward to hearing from you again. I would hope that people would not take this into a private subgroup because you are helping many people by being open here. There are many people that relate to you and all of our stories, fears, wishes etc that do not have a voice (with a name) but have been able to continue on with therapy or have been able to find some resolution to their own conflicts by gathering information here. I hope this post is helpful and not hurtful to you. I certainly don't want to say anything that would be of detriment to you Zoo. Take good care and I hope you keep posting.