Mixed episodes are the WORST. Do all you can to stay settled. For me, that's isolation and staying on the computer all day. Be good to yourself and give in to those pent up emotions (I scream into my pillow and cry my eyes out behind closed doors). Worrying about the wedding is making you more anxious; you want to fulfill your promise because you are STRONG and a survivor. BUT you've had BP long enough to know when you need to go inpatient. There will be someone else to step up to the plate...simply give someone else your camera, and let them film it in your place.
lara...this episode will be over soon.