In my opinion I believe that a person can love you, and still treat you the way that your wife does. Maybe her parents never modeled a healthy way to love, you have acknowledged that you have issues in this area as well. Have you both considered individual, as well as couples counseling?

**** man, I have gone around the mountain a few times with my wife, and what I learned is this; pointing the finger does not work, you only have 3 pointing back at you. Focus on what you can change, which is you. Treat your wife like gold, and see if she doesnt reciprocate.

You guys are probably in a rut, and are used to abusing each other. You are going to have to do something different, and keep making changes even if you dont see her trying as hard as you want her to.

Look at it this way, if you dont make the changes on you now, you will repeat this in your next relationship. This is a great opportunity for you both to grow. I wish you well.