I am not sure what kind of response you are looking for.
In a pm you told me you were 14. Now in this post you say 13.
I am hoping that you will go to someone in your real life and tell them you are hurting. Tell them you are needing help. The forums here are a supplement, if you will, to the work you are doing in your own life.
You seem to be doing things that are harmful to your body and it is my sincere wish you take a step back and get yourself help.