Quote:
Originally Posted by lynn P.
(((phoenix7)))  maybe you can try not to judge yourself and recognize your triggers...think before you act kind of thing.
i do try Lynn - the trigger is somthing good happening..... but then its like i go to sleep and wake up and go WT????? damn i just did this or that and thats the self sabotage part.....
What does your therapist say?
dont have one
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah
Could you be anxious after something good happens (because you are waiting for the other shoe to drop?) so you make the other shoe drop so that you don't have to anticipate and feel anxious?
Exactly Sannah! the anxiety builds and builds and so i make the other shoe drop to get rid of the anxiety but then comes the guilt and the anger...
Calming yourself with SI isn't nuts. This is why many people do it.
I know, but ....... when i think about the words.... i scratched my arms till they bled so that i wouldnt be anxious anymore..... sighs.....
You can't just stop this until you figure out why you are doing it and work from there.
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something bad always used to follow somthing good - like you had to pay for any part of happiness you got - the happier you were - the worse the pain - you get a kitten (happy) someone poisons it (pain) - you brother comes home from the army (happy) SA (pain) - your dad says he wil visit for your birthday (happy) - he doesnt as usual (pain) - he says he wil pay for a school trip (happy) you get pulled out of the class to have the teacher demand the money in front of everyone cos he hasnt paid (pain) - you finally get asked to be a godmum to your sisters newest baby (happy) - you dad doesnt turn up to take you and doesnt ring til its too late to get there - everyone gets angry at you cos he says he isnt going cos you are ill but you were going anyway - you dont get to be godmum and everyone is angry wiht you not him (pain)
I cant remember anything good happening without something bad happening soon after...... so i guess if i make it happen at least i can control the severity of the pain ........ although i always seem to make it equal or greater thant the hapiness so none is left to invite any more pain..
Quote:
Originally Posted by greylove
I'm not always good with words........but I am good with hugs. (((((((((((((((((((Phoenix))))))))))))))))))
thanks Grey 
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thanks for your replies... i guess i just dont know how to stop the anxiety after the "happy" .....while im waiting for the bad.....
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts 
its how many times you get back up! 
(Thanks to fenrir for my Picture  )
When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton, author and poet
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