I have a weird little ritual I do when I email anything personal to someone. I don't use the email program...at first...I type it up in Word, or notepad or something. Then I leave it sitting on my pc desktop...titled "important". I open it several times a day, edit, re-clarify, etc. Sometimes it takes a week to cut and paste it into email and several more days to actually click send.

Who really cares about my email ritual though...it's dumb and its obsessive. It does help me make my message clear and to the point. Just thought that since you have that overwhelming desire to email, this might work for you.

Melbadaze, remembering that you said earlier that when this began, T was listening to the radio with her son, do you think you are struggle with the feelings of fighting for attention and love, a kind of sibling rivalry going with T's son.. and that's keeping things stirred up. How could you compete (to get what you wanted and needed) with an older brother? How could you compete with T's son.