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Originally Posted by bpd2
Hi Penguin--it gets laid at the feet of the borderline stuff. The handshake thing is what really kills me, too. It's like I don't even get to practice being normal...One time he moved from his chair to a footstool to lean forward to do a demonstration with a glass of water on the coffeetable (about having so much put into my glass that I just can't take anymore), and it was an upsetting moment. When he moved away again, I asked if he could sit back there again, closer. He said "sure!" talked for a few minutes--like 5--then moved away again. Proximity is loaded now. I hate it. It's safest just to stay away, try to find the most neutral location and demeanor that I can. And that just sounds f..ked for a therapy relationship, doesn't it. As I've been writing about it here, I see that it has become a bigger and bigger problem over time. It should have gone away by now. I guess I should start by asking him why it hasn't...
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bpd--I don't know that much about Borderline Personality Disorder or Bipolar Disorder to really determine if your T's behavior is "therapeutic" or not, but I do know that caution can be taken to an extreme by anybody (T's are not immune). I think it has to do with the Borderline PD thing though. I was reading a little about it and DBT because I'm not that familiar with it. I would be really upset at that type of therapy though whether I had personality disorder issues or not (and I don't that I know of but I am now horrified of being labeled as such!).
Do you like it when he sits close then? Sometimes I sit close to my T and sometimes not. Sometimes I just get tired of the same old spot on the couch or sometimes I want a more personal, "intimate" (if you will) proximity for the topic at hand and I move in closer (again, with no desire to touch in any way). Other times I'm petrified and move further away. However, if I felt that my T was moving AWAY FROM ME, I would then feel a little uncomfortable and I might even begin to question his concern and ability to help me.
Sometimes though people just read too much into something. Maybe your T is doing that? Or maybe it is a DBT thing? Or maybe both?