Typically, low self-esteem is the cause of settling whatever a person is willing to give you. Very low when you are willing to take abuse ~ emotional, sexual, or physical ~ rather than be alone.

In my experience, very low self-esteem comes from being ignored. Especially in early childhood. My pleas for help were ignored, unseen, and I was put down for being stupid. I "deserved" what I got.

Abuse can go on for many years or it can be "every once in awhile". The occasional victims end up scratching their heads in wonder of why and blame themselves. The frequent victims quickly blame themselves for all of their suffering. It's the only way to make logical sense of the hell in the mind of one who has been abused. ~ that's the typical cycle anyway.

It is a rough road to find yourself on. But try to focus on avoiding those pitfalls in the future, and work on building healthy relationships.