What you said kind of hits the nail right on the head. From the time I was born till about 8 years old I lived with my mom. She neglected me and ignored me. Let kids beat me up and throw knives at me when I was only an arm's reach from her. I had strange spells (maybe anxiety attacks) in the middle of the night; where strange voices in my head would tell me to run and go faster.. I'd close my eyes and just get random fast moving images blur past.. I would hyperventilate and cry.. it scared me and I felt slow and cold on the outside but inside I felt like my insides were about to jump from my skin and if I didn't match that speed I'd die.. (I still get that sometimes). She would ignore me even if I banged on her door, or send out her boyfriend to tell me to shut up. I was sexually abused once by the child that used to beat me and when I told her right after it happened she just pushed me back into the room thinking that I was just lying..

Those things happened until I was given the opportunity to move in with my Dad.. however the effects of those years seemed to have lingered. I don't know about self-esteem.. for I don't necessarily usually feel bad about myself.. But forgiving and forgetting seem to be a big thing I'm stuck on, regardless of what anyone has done.