Thanks for all your care and support, it has been really helpful.
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Originally Posted by Sannah
Abby, you sounded very grounded in these posts, the most grounded I have ever heard you here. I think this is really good progress. I am so proud of you for working so hard in therapy! I'll bet it is because you are facing what you need to instead on continuing to just dance around it. It seems that you have done some really good work! I am so proud of you!
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Thanks Sannah for always caring.
I appreciate you seeing how hard I am trying in therapy. I have tried hard recently to listen and take what my therapist says as the truth rather than all lies like I normally would and I have therefore been pushing myself quite hard to talk when I would really rather keep quiet. I'm still not very good because sometimes there just aren't any words but I have been trying to stay with feelings during those times if I can. My therapist is good because she is listening to me also when I say I need to go away from topics due to fear. We did that yesterday after I was shaking too much but I think maybe it was a bit too late and that is why I got so out of control. I think learning to talk takes times!
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Originally Posted by krisakira
First of all, i'm proud of you for doing a coping skill of counting. Second of all. if this happens often, I suggest you tell your therapist and maybe they can help you through it. A more practical thing is to set up a buddy system so that if you feel you can't drive yourself home, you can get a friend or family member to pick you up. Later when you feel calmer, have them drive you to the car park and drive
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Thankyou for caring Krisakira. I have often thought that I should get one of my parents to pick me up after some hard sessions but I'm quite afraid of doing that because I wouldn't like to show them that I'm not fully in control. I think although I love my family a lot, it would feel like they were too close if they came near me when I felt that vulnerable - and I know that makes no sense! I think you are right that I should try and speak to my therapist about this, or maybe try and park my car elsewhere so I need to walk to it and that may give me time to calm down a bit.
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Originally Posted by sugahorse
I too have recently left T sessions with "unfinished business" - it hurts and is scary. You need to talk to your T about it - she's the only one that can help you, go easy on you and teach you coping skills.
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Thanks sugahorse for understanding. How do you cope when you leave therapy full of too many emotions? What do you do to help yourself? I do need to talk to my therapist but it is scary and knowing me I'll likely omit the fact that I really struggled yesterday when I go back next week. I still find it hard to talk about things like that for some reason. I did manage to send her an email saying i was scared and she replied today that she heard me and is thinking about me. That has helped.
I had to leave work an hour early because my head started hurting and I knew my stress tolerance levels were low and I'd find it hard to cope with lots of traffic. My manager laughed at me when I said I was going to go early as I had a headache and needed to lie down. She said she did too so what made me so special that I felt I could leave just due to that.
I expect that from her now but it hurt still and it made me cry a little.
My anxiety levels are definately reducing but I think i've over-tired myself so I feel sick. I need to get organised for the weekend but at the moment I don't have the energy to move.
It has really helped getting such positive messages of support. It has really helped having somewhere to talk and feel listened too and I'm grateful for everyone replying.