When my depression gets bad I sound exactly like you and I want someone to take care of me. I believe my entire life is awful and I should stop living. Nobody cares about me. And when the meds kick in I don't feel that way at all! I call it "depression think", because it's so distorted.

I have also learned not to talk about mental illness and alcoholism to people who don't have these diseases and aren't professionals. It frightens people to hear stuff like this. I keep a lot more friends this way.